Couples share secrets of marriage

Valentine's Day is all about loving and being loved, so three couples in the Quoddy area were asked how they found their life partners and what makes their marriages work.
Chemistry and kindness
Ron and Ronna Pesha of Lubec celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary in December, and both agree that "chemistry" is what led to their attraction and length of their marriage.
"He's very thoughtful, kind and generous. I guess that's what I like," says Ronna of her husband. "I've had breakfast in bed for 40 years."
Ron was living in Tulsa, Okla., and Ronna Wall was residing in Syracuse, N.Y., when they first crossed paths. "She responded to a letter of mine that was published in the Mother Earth News periodical, and we started corresponding," he recalls. "We discovered we had a common lifestyle."
Ron drove from Oklahoma to New York so he could meet Ronna in person. She remembers, "I had a gut instinct we'd be together." They married on December 17, 1971, when the groom was 36 and the bride was 24. Ron worked for 17 years for radio and television stations, and in 1976 he began teaching mass communications at State University of New York Adirondack in Queensbury, N.Y., retiring as professor emeritus in 1998. Ronnie was a veterinary tech for two different practices, worked in the retail world and in a Veterans Administration hospital.
The Peshas began visiting Lubec as tourists in the mid-1990s, found the house of their dreams in the summer of 1997 and moved in permanently in August 1998. Both agree that "living in Lubec is like being on vacation."
Over the years the couple has enjoyed going to library book sales, so their home library is "quite extensive," says Ronna. "And he still likes to read to me."
While spending their retirement years in Downeast Maine, the Peshas have taken advantage of the beautiful surroundings and enjoy outside activities. They can be found taking quiet walks, looking at the sky through Ron's telescope and gardening. Inside activities include the sport of shopping at Marden's in Calais and attending area musical performances such as the SummerKeys concerts.
"When I met him, I said, 'This is the one,'" sums up Ronna of their life together. "And I still feel that way."

Working with patience and faith
One Eastport couple, Maurice and Regina Mitchell, reached their 56th wedding anniversary in November.
"We were meant to be together," say Maurice of their union, and Regina adds, "When we got married, I thought, 'This is it. I'm going to be with him forever.'"
"We met at the lunch counter at the bowling alley," recalls Maurice. "She was a good-looking girl." Regina points out that it's hard to ignore a young man who pays a lot of attention to you, and Maurice was that type of beau.
Like many other Eastport couples back then, Regina and Maurice's dates consisted of going to the movies, bowling and going for long walks.
They were married by a justice of the peace in St. Stephen in November 1955. Standing up with them were Charlie Brown and Irma (Pottle) DeWitt.
The family grew with the addition of Brian in 1956, Kevin in 1958 and Frannie in 1968 in their Wilson Street home. There was often an older relative around. Maurice's grandfather, Peter Call, lived in the upstairs apartment until shortly before he died at age 86 in 1966. Regina's grandmother, Frances Phinney, who passed away at age 96 in 1988, also lived with the Mitchells for several years.
Maurice worked at several jobs, including the Riviera Packing Company, carpentry work and his own boatbuilding business, and, for awhile, he and Regina were both employed by the Guilford woolen mill in Quoddy Village. They worked different shifts, so the couple would leave notes for one another on the refrigerator.
One of the family's favorite activities was camping, and Regina recalls that, even when she was dead tired from working a night shift, "if Maurice had the weekend off, he'd have Frannie and Tobi McPhail all ready to go camping, and I'd just sleep in the car 'til we got there."
"We've learned to respect one another," points out Regina, as Maurice adds, "It always gets better if you take the time to work through the problem."
The Mitchells agree that a big part of their marriage's success has been their faith in God, which has become even more important as the years have passed by and they've had to battle some serious health problems.
The couple celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary with a renewal of their vows in front of Dr. Paul Emery at the Cornerstone Baptist Church on November 4, 2005.
Nowadays, in addition to being a grandfather of eight and great-grandfather of two, Maurice enjoys playing his guitar at church and the Eastport Senior Center and is very happy when he is bass fishing. Regina is busy with the Eastport Memorial Nursing Home Auxiliary, genealogy and volunteering for Down East Hospice.
"We enjoy the simple things in life," sums up Maurice.

Communication with trust
Leroy "Roy" and Jennie Kilby of Dennysville recently celebrated their 55th wedding anniversary.
"Those boys from Dennysville used to come to Lubec," recalls the former Jennie Townsend when asked to recall how they met. "It was back in the summer of 1951. He was 17, just out of high school..."
"Sixteen," corrects Roy with a chuckle.
"He was two years older than me," she adds. "And he was very handsome."
The only employment in the area was seasonal, so Roy had joined the U.S. Air Force and left in December, just a few months after they met. For the next four years, they only saw each other when he was home on furlough, but when he returned home for good, he and Jennie became engaged. The next year, on December 22, 1956, they were married by Pastor David Goodwin of the Congregational Church in Dennysville.
The family grew as their children, Cheryl, April, Billy and Karen, came along, and Roy worked at a number of jobs over the years, including construction, the railroad, the Guilford mill and the Woodland mill and operating his own grocery store. In 1967 he was hired as a postal carrier and worked his way up the ladder until he became postmaster in Pembroke.
When Roy retired in 1999 and was asked if he had any plans, his reply was to "do what my wife tells me" most of the time.
"He's been a very good husband. He's taken good care of me," stresses Jennie. "And he's a wonderful father to the kids."
"Communication is what makes a marriage work. Trusting one another and having faith in one another," she adds.