Increase in suicides discussed in Calais

We all have a suicide problem," stated Ashley Pesek as she addressed an assembled crowd during the first presentation organized by the Calais‑based Making a Difference Right Now (MADRN) at Washington County Community College on April 23. The direct language was characteristic of Pesek's talk, in which she impressed the importance of facing and openly addressing a problem that disproportionately affects Washington County.
"If we don't challenge a society that says we don't have this problem, if we don't push boundaries, if we don't ask real questions, we're going to continue seeing lots of our younger people thinking about committing suicide," Pesek continued. As the emergency services supervisor for Washington County, she has frequently seen firsthand the effects of turning a blind eye to the problem.
While the goal of MADRN is to spread a message that supports anti‑bullying behavior, the collaboration -- now comprised of individuals from Washington County Community College, Calais Regional Hospital, Dunkin' Donuts, Community Caring Collaborative, AMHC and local beauty queens  made the determination to focus its first event on suicide awareness. Kelly Ela was originally selected as the speaker, but she was unable to attend due to illness.
With Washington County second only to Piscataquis County for having the highest suicide rate in the state, and the state itself having higher than national averages for suicides, the need to address the issue is immediate, as co‑organizer John Cowell explained. "We don't know what tomorrow brings. Right now is the time to make a difference."
In 2017, Maine had a suicide rate of 16.14 per 100,000 people, compared to 13.26 nationally. Washington County, meanwhile, had a rate of 17.38. In 2013, Maine's overall rate of suicide was 13.4, indicating the upward trend. For people between the ages of 10‑34 in Maine, suicide was the second leading cause of death between 2012‑14, according to a 2016 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report.
Pesek began her presentation with two videos, both of which contained pertinent messages. The first was a video that illustrated what it would look like if people responded to physical illness as they do mental illness -- including asking a woman affected by the flu if she was "even trying to get better" or telling a man with diabetes that "I don't think you need medication every day just to feel normal." Pesek said that mental illness carries a stigma in society. "If a person is so sick that their brain chemistry is out of balance, they cannot control that any more than a person with diabetes," she said. "They need help, and they may need medicine."
The second video was Logic's "1‑800‑273‑8255," a song named after the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline phone number. It portrayed the life of a teenager who is attracted to their same sex and the rejection they experience from their family and their teammates at school. After the video played, Pesek discussed it with the crowd. She noted that in it there was one adult who reached out to the teen -- one being all it takes to make a difference at times, she emphasized -- and that the teen could be seen making a call after a moment of intense despair where they were considering suicide. As the video progresses, the background statements shifted from "I don't want to be alive" to "I don't want to die anymore." Pesek said the fact that the video has hope in it, including an ending where the subject is seen marrying a same‑sex partner with their family watching on, is incredibly important. "There is life after suicidal ideation. We need to get that message out."
Pesek addressed how there is a dominant but erroneous perception that if people talk about something like suicide it will become true. She described how, when Kurt Cobain committed suicide on April 5, 1994, mental health professionals were very concerned that the young adult population who idolized him would follow in his footsteps. They set up booths at all of the memorial events they could reach and handed out flyers to whomever would take them. Afterward, rather than suicides going up, the calls to the national helplines went up -- and suicides effectively went down. Spreading the message that help is available is clearly a powerful deterrent to the extreme sense of isolation that a suicidal individual may be experiencing.
One of the most common trends Pesek sees is how young adults joke about suicide, or how family members and peers don't take talk of suicide seriously. "Suicide is not a joke. It is not normal behavior to make fun of people who say they are going to kill themselves. We should treat everybody -- including those who joke about it -- as if they are serious, and that will change our culture." Even if people may think that someone is just saying it to get attention, it is a good reason to take time and attempt to determine what it is they really need.
Sometimes depressed and alienated individuals may not be openly communicative of what they are going through. If someone's behavior dramatically changes, that can be a significant warning sign that something is wrong. Pesek encouraged everyone present to not be afraid to ask someone if they are thinking about killing themselves. "If the answer is 'yes,' and you aren't sure what to do with that, talk to someone else about it. If they aren't sure, keep talking to others until you find someone that knows." The answer may be contacting local mental health services such as AMHC or calling the suicide hotline noted above.
The presentation was the first of a series planned by MADRN to be held in the Calais area in an effort to build positivity and emotional intelligence in the community. While Monday night's event was geared toward adults, earlier in the day individuals from the collaboration worked with area schools on anti‑bullying activities.