Longtime couple's shared dream remembered on Valentine's Day

​A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality." -- John Lennon
-That day. That special day when two people come together to join as one. So much time spent preparing, or not, sometimes catches people off guard when the day finally arrives. No matter the place, the circumstance, the tiresome planning or the spontaneous "zest" to just do it -- when two marry, that shared dream becomes reality.
  For Tessa and Steve Ftorek of Eastport remembering "that day" some 40 years ago is quite easy to do, given the dreams and stories of others that continually surround their own. Tessa, following in her father's footsteps, has officiated at more than 130 wedding ceremonies.
  And though some of the stories from those ceremonies were as unpredictable as Downeast weather -- a camouflage attire mishap, an uninvited skunk, a missing marriage license, a swaying lighthouse and a recent wedding where the bride and groom arrived with nothing but license and rings so the Ftoreks provided everything else including the witnesses, the cake and venue -- they all ended on a bright note, with the dreams of two joined together as one. The memories of those special moments, as varied as the people who made them, enrich the Ftoreks' journey together every day.
  In her duties for "that day" Tessa will sometimes let slip Lennon's quote. In doing so, she will ask the couple to think about the happiness they are feeling in this place, in this moment. "Let that feeling register in your heart and your mind. Now I want you to think about your life in 20 years. Where are you? What are you doing? Your visions of the future might not be identical but they are always complementary."
  The Ftoreks' marriage story began with a "no" but eventually turned into a "yes." "We were married in my parents' living room in the Chaffey homestead on Capen Avenue," says Tessa. "We lived in Perry, Robbinston and finally settled in my hometown of Eastport. Stevie proposed. I said no. Then a few months later I said, 'So do you still want to get married?' And that was that!"
  Steve Ftorek grew up in Cambridge, Mass., graduated from Needham High School where he played hockey, then went to Northeastern University studying construction and architecture. Tessa Chaffey was born and raised in Eastport, attended Shead Memorial High School where she was involved in band and glee club, then went on to the University of Maine at Presque Isle, graduating with a degree in elementary education.
  He pursued his contracting business, was a millwright and fished herring with his best friend. She taught third grade, was a counselor at Washington County Community College, and is currently "not really retired," serving as officiant of weddings and funerals.
  The two met through mutual friends. "Stevie's best friend in Massachusetts that he has known since he was five years old had moved to Robbinston and married a local girl. It just so happened I was teaching with his wife. Our first date was to the carnival in Calais."
  Their love of the outdoors in the beginning was an everyday pursuit. Both became registered Maine guides, and they eventually started a business together, sharing that passion for nature with others through hiking and paddling trips. Today, it is the outdoors where they both say they still feel the most alive and really at peace.
  From their Eastport home overlooking Friar Roads they watch the working boats come and go along with the constant ebb and flow of that ferocious tide. Their home, always open during storms -- serving cookies and conversation -- is also a beacon to those passing boats because of the ever-watchful eye of that lighted stick-figure on a deck close to the water's edge known as Bing, who lives with the Ftoreks in Bingville.
  But it is family where their mutual dreams coalesce into a bond that is formidable. Visiting three children and seven grandchildren living in places like Massachusetts, California and the northern reach of Alaska offers both a respite for good memories and some pretty scenic vacations. Now they say, since the pandemic, they stay home and let the "kids come and visit them." And they do, often. Tessa reminds people as she does all those she has brought together in marriage -- reality does not come untainted; there are moments of frustration, anger and sadness sprinkled in for good measure. The Ftoreks have had theirs.
  "Life has had its challenges, particularly some health challenges. Sometimes it's those challenges that make you realize the worth and importance of your partner. Supporting and being there when the other is in need shows you what a good relationship is all about."
  So, this Valentine's Day, think of "that day" and what makes it your special reality. It could be your wedding day, or that of a family member or friend, as a participant or guest, surrounded by others at a place familiar or very different -- in a lighthouse tower, on a beach, in a harbor surrounded by boats, on a boat, in a stranger's -- soon-to-be friend's -- home. Wherever it was, that day was and is about the love of two becoming one on their dream's journey.
  For Tessa and Steve, their journey continues to be blanketed by the stories of others and through their desire to give of themselves through work, faith and commitment to make life better for all those around them. In essence, their shared dream is now a shared reality for the many with whom they have come in contact -- yesterday, today and tomorrow.

February 10, 2023(Home)